You Birthed A Mother Too!
Updated: May 21, 2020
‘The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.
She never existed before.
The woman existed, but the mother, never.
A mother is something absolutely new.’
The day we birth baby is the day we birth mother. I was not told this once whilst I was pregnant; not even in my holistic circle of support. There are no antenatal classes that tell you how to birth the mother. Apart from the, it is important to look after you too, no one even mentioned to me that I would be birthing two people that day; baby and myself – the mother. How I wish I had been. As my body grew in pregnancy I had moments of fear where I knew that I was becoming something different, something more. There were days during the fourth trimester when my body, brain, emotions and soul felt completely overwhelmed. My fears and worries often cast a cloud and muddied my instincts. I had moments when it felt like I was drowning. I wasn’t sure I wanted to lose who I was but I knew with certainty that I wanted to be mummy to this life I was growing.
As a woman pre-baby I successfully juggled all the household chores, a successful career, fulfilling social life and nurturing relationships with friends and family. I was bossing it as mum but not so much with the successful pre baby list of daily accomplishments. I felt my identity was changing that the woman form before no longer, if ever, existed.
One day I woke up with an a-ah moment! I may have shifted from who I was but I could still be me. Motherhood was a transition from woman to a newer, better version of woman. It was the day my identity shifted from maiden to mother; the day woman was no longer the focus but this amazing softer and stronger version called mother. Now I just needed to connect with her and align in authenticity.
I had this idea of what a good mother is, the picture perfect family with mum at the centre cooking, cleaning and caring for everyone. I knew this was not going to be me. I had an ideal of the sort of mother I was going to be a baby wearing, organic and natural lead. This was an ideal of perfection. My vision didn't align with reality and I felt both disappointment in myself and a heap of mum guilt that I was not being the best version of myself for my son.
I tell you this because I want you to know I have journeyed through your points of pain. I have studied and implemented in my life techniques and practices and shifted my mindset to be my unique authentic version of motherhood. There is no perfect version of mother, there is just your version of motherhood.
I built a bridge of knowledge & mind-set that I am the best mother for my baby, I can be completely confident to make choices that don’t self-sacrifice who I am as a woman but don’t see me neglecting my role as a mother. I can be a successful mumpreneur and set a really good example for my son in the process. I become a really great mother and confident to make my own decisions in motherhood. In essence I have found my authentic version of motherhood creating a secure and loving bond with my son that means we are both happy and thriving.
The five key things were:
The 5 a day Essentials of Motherhood
My Mum Tribe
The day my son was born I felt a deep shift a connection to something more peaceful and serene. Embrace that, discover your version of authenticity in motherhood and live in participation with your baby.
This is where my passion lies; to help celebrate the birth of a mother and raise the motherhood vibration. To cut through the overwhelm, mum guilt and struggle with identity so that babies are given the best possible start and future.
Nixie Foster - The Motherhood Mentor to high–flying female entrepreneurs and career women. The founder of ‘High-Flyer to Authentic Motherhood in 13 Steps’; a mentorship program to assist you in finding your natural identity as a mother and give new mothers the secure, loving bond with their baby which allows them to confidently be their unique version of motherhood.
Check out my website www.nixiefoster.com
All opinions published in this article are the author’s own.