What Does a Mother Need; An Inner Voice of Kindness.
Welcome to the tribe of motherhood. We are all learning, unlearning and relearning our womanhood. Some of us have welcomed with open arms the next stage in our cycle of feminine life. Others are still fighting with the patriarchal systems, beliefs and conditioning environment of our era. All of us feel the stirrings of the divine feminine within. This awakening is a part of your transition from woman to mother. You are connecting, reconnecting or strengthening your connection with your feminine energy.
Can you feel the tug from within? Can you hear the call to remember and celebrate your femininity? This is not the time to battle for you are birthing a mother just as you birthed a baby. It is not a weakness to embrace and welcome this new and different energy. It is right to learn a new gentleness that will bring you a greater and deeper well of strength. You are becoming your unique version of motherhood. To find your authentic version of motherhood you will create a balance of the unique feminine and masculine energies that serve you. Do not release your identity of woman but hold her fiercely and bring her experiences, life lessons and knowledge to build upon. Motherhood is an improved version of woman, a next step in your evolution. Motherhood is not a transformation but rather a transition.
Participation or Perfection
You do not need to be perfect for you are learning just as your baby is learning. Both of you are experiencing new, unusual and unmapped territory. It is about participating and being the best that you can be. It is ensuring all your needs are met just as baby’s needs are.
Every one of us experiences mummy struggles. There is not a perfect version of motherhood; only that which we bring to life through our thoughts, visualisations and inner voice. Today you are going to uphold your pledge of a kind and loving inner dialogue for yourself. You are going to stride into the foundations of your unique and authentic motherhood. No journey is easy and is definitely easier with a tribe supporting you and a guiding hand. So, whilst you nurture your baby and birth your motherhood remember your tribe and reach out when you need them. You were never meant to mother alone.
Your Inner Voice
Now it is time to take your inner voice and turn it into the gentleness, kindness and love that you as a mother deserve. Firstly I want you to list the three most common negative phrases you hear your inner voice say. Now write next to them why they aren’t true. Let’s take an example from my early days as a new mother;
I am a bad mum. This is not true because all my baby’s needs are met, he is happy and hitting all his developmental goals.
Do not think why your inner voice believes this because we all have a part of our brain that is impish or monkeying around. The intentions of your brain are good as it is just trying to protect you from hurt, pain or disappointment. But you don’t need to sabotage your motherhood by listening to the negative. You need to turn it around into positivity and discover your authentic version of motherhood. The next step is to write your new normal, what serves your motherhood.
I am a good mother. I meet all my baby’s needs. He is happy and thriving.
Make these new words become your inner voice. When your brain is being a monkey and that negative inner voice raises its head, stop! Do not chastise yourself for thinking these negative thoughts but take a deep breath and pause. Reboot your brain and give yourself a kind inner voice by reciting your new normal. To boost the power of your new kind inner voice utilise your new normal as daily affirmations. Look in the mirror when you are cleaning your teeth and repeat them to yourself. Write them up on your notice board or have them as a screensaver. Surround yourself with your kind inner voice.
Remember motherhood is never going to be an image of perfection. There are too many variables especially from your baby. Enjoy the journey, be kind to yourself, discover your unique authentic motherhood and thrive; because you will.
Nixie Foster - The Motherhood Mentor to high–flying female entrepreneurs and career women. The founder of ‘High-Flyer to Authentic Motherhood in 13 Steps’; a mentorship program to assist you in finding your natural identity as a mother and give new mothers the secure, loving bond with their baby which allows them to confidently be their unique version of motherhood.