Shhhss! Do you hear? The silent voice of motherhood is near. You will not hear their voice of fear or screams of shame. Shhhss! Do you hear?
The torn and ripped soul of a new mother does not have a voice. The grief of losing your Self has silent unseen tears. When in this world of image and half-truths a mother is born she is not cherished, celebrated or guided. She is expected to just know, just be as she is, just toe the line, just conform, and just live in the myth of the too good mother. No one wants to hear the howls of pain when joy is meant to belong here.
Mother holds her cherished baby and inhales the wonderful smell of heaven sent to earth. The love is all consuming; her whole world is in her arms. She birthed her heart to beat outside of herself; she brought to be her hopes and dreams. The love for her child is unwavering, her happiness shining bright from her eyes. Woman never understood a love like this and mother cannot image never having it. This is true; this is not a lie, yet – shhhss! Do you hear? The silent voice of motherhood is near.
Visitors come to worship baby to welcome a new being into the world. Where is mother? Right there, she is the ghost holding baby, the one you do not see. Taking baby into your arms you turn and see, there she is mother sitting there. But do you really see? Who is she? Who has she become? Shhhss! To you hear? The silent voice of motherhood is near.
The words you speak do not recognise the mother or remember the woman. The words do not reach either’s soul.
“Baby is gorgeous, you must be so proud.”
“Have you recovered?”
“Is baby sleeping well for you?”
Do you know the mother? Is she different than the woman before? Hell yes she is! Shhhss! Do you hear? The silent voice of mother has begun to rear.
The patriarchal shame and guilt of not being everything nor changing from the woman before has gagged the voice of motherhood and left it silent in fear.
The truth will always be that the day you birthed your baby woman no longer came to be. Your soul was shredded that day and flung into the air. Coming back together with pieces left bare and some no longer there and the rest a jumbled mess. Motherhood will clothe the pieces bare and those that are missing belong not here but to woman. The jumble can be untangled when the shame and fear leaves this place of mother. A lot of work on Self is due; nurturing both baby new and you. Shhhss! Do you hear? The silent voice of motherhood has begun to rear.
The love for baby never wavers; the joy of baby always alive but the mother knows she has to heal. To look within and learn to feel the new and different being that resides there. She needs to take a path of discovery and celebration into the rite of passage that is motherhood. And then and only then can she understand this new life stage where she can move from woman into mother in her truest form.
Woman-Mother-Elder; this is the life cycle of the female once infancy and childhood is gone; a journey of life stages and experiences unique to each and every one. Shhhss! Do you hear? The silent voice of motherhood has conquered the fear.
Image by J.Womersley Photography
The transition from woman to mother is unexpected and a massive shift to your life; a shift that no one warns you about. That you are afraid to talk about out of fear or shame.
You do not live on a static plane of once you have become woman with your ambitions and achievements, plans and goals you are set as you. You are a bl$$dy Goddess and you move through your life rebirthing yourself at each life stage.
Women have been stripped of the support and guidance that eased them through, celebrated their transition and most importantly let them know it was natural part of your life journey. Gone are the family structure of support and wisdom passed down. Gone are women sitting in circle, coming together in their tribal or village environments to celebrate and nurture the new mother whilst storytelling of their experiences.
It is time to look within and reconnect with your feminine energy. Seek out your tribe, your vibe tribe and the elder or mentor that will guide you to be your unique version of motherhood.
Nixie Foster - The Motherhood Mentor to mums in business. The founder of ‘The MUM Programme - Mentoring Unique Mums in Business’; a mentorship program to shift mum guilt and mum anxieties so you can thrive in business and motherhood.