I Miss You!

I woke up and looked into the crib. The beautiful face and soft snuffles sleeping soundly. In a flash exhaustion is gone as I realise- I miss you.

The quiet nights, just you and me sharing the moonlight and stars in the sky. The sweet secrets shared, hopes and dreams whispered in your ears. The days felt so long with coffee as my friend and you my new amazing baby. Together we learned each other and found way. And in those quiet dark nights, the early hours when artists, writers, music makers, dreamers and mothers are awake we build our bond and shared our love. I miss you now and watch you sleep. Those early weeks and months of wakeful nights I miss you now. I know the time will be just a few short nights until I too sleep through the early hours but for tonight I watch you sleep.

I cried today, I broke my heart. You cried today, you broke my heart. I miss you! Every second, every minute, every hour.

From the moment you were born until today it has been just you and me forging our way. I fear that you do not know mummy loves you so. That mummy will always be back soon. I know you are safe there and mummy is very close by. I know the fun you will have and the new experiences will help you grow.

I miss you! What fun did you have without me, what skill did you learn?

How my heart soared when you run to me. You love me just as much, maybe more. Your hug never felt so sure.

You love it there but every day you cry when I leave and smile when I return. I've taken sneaky peaks, I see the fun you have. I'll miss you every nursery day but I promise you it makes us strong and keeps us true.

Image By J.Womersley Photography

Mother Earth needed us to miss her. She needed us to hide away. We needed to become just you and me once more.

20 weeks!

You and Me!

We became as before.

Quietly together sharing secrets; only now two voices soothed each other.

I miss you my tiny newborn yet I love you more today than yesterday.

We shared stories and dreams. Goals and fun. Life became different, hard, we needed more but we had each other.

Our bond grew and then slowly the world, a different world, began to open up once more.

It was time for us to explore. Hand in hand we stepped out. You gave me the strength to make a choice for you. I miss you even before the time came.

You have grown so much a baby no more. You are my little boy. My assertive, imaginative explorer ready to investigate your place in the world once more.

I miss you baby as I leave you at the door.

A face that breaks my heart as the voice pleds mummy, mummy no don't go.

As tears streamed down my face, head in my hands, sat in the car I miss you more than ever before.

And then tonight you made my world. You said na night mummy and held my hand. As you drifted off to dream amazing dreams you briefly hugged me tight and said I miss you mummy when I sleep.

I make a promise to you tonight. I will love you truly and without fear. But most of all my baby dear; I pledge that when wide awake and you are near you will never have to miss me. I will be right here in the moment, present and clear.

Today 22/09/2020 - The First Day of Fall our normal may be about to adjust again. Take the time to reflect on all that we have achieved, grown and gained over the spring and summer months of growth. Be grateful for the abundance of your harvest and today reflect on how quickly the years pass even if the days are slow. For now our world is a different place to what we are used to but the years are still passing.

Love and Abundance

Nixie Foster

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