Updated: Jul 15, 2020
Women uniquely have the ability to birth and continue the cycle of life. Think about that for a moment. We as the females of the species are the only force powerful enough to protect, nourish and then deliver a new form into being. Then why are we not given value in our patriarchal society?
The patriarch masculine energy is dominant in our western society and culture. Resulting in an idolization and suppression of mothers, but why?
When I was a young woman I was lead to believe I could have it all. That it was my right and I didn’t have to trade off anything for it. That I could be and do anything I wanted. I could have an amazing career, be totally successful as a mother and keep a good housekeeping standard plus be an amazing wife who knows what she wants in the bedroom and gets it. This is what was sold to me that I am equal to men.
But I am not. My value is equal to that of a man’s. That does not mean I need to behave like a man.
The mums in business I talk to resonate so strongly with a feeling of having to come from a place of masculinity at the expense of your femininity.
If you follow this path and your feminine energy becomes suppressed one of two things will happen. You will either conform to the stereotypical submissive female to the masculine or embrace your masculine and become an over-achiever through utilising masculine energy at the expense of the feminine.
Now guess why that mum guilt happens, because we need to balance the intellectual ego of male energy with the feminine energy of the psyche. If we don’t, we buy into the patriarchal world of the myth of the perfect mother. She does not exist by the way. Why? Perfection is conceptual to your circumstances, your heritage, society and popular culture. You can never achieve perfection and therefore will always be suppressed whilst trying to achieve the mythical possible. Your aim is for participation, that is what your baby or child wants, that is what you want and that is what serves your family and makes you successful in business.
Hands up who has ever felt mum guilt!
I have! I still do, the difference is I can work with my shadow and use my super-powered feminine energy to shift the mum guilt.
I hope every mum raised their hand because if you didn’t it will have been through fear of judgement. You are in a safe place here. This is where you can be honest and get a whole heap of cosmic hugs sent your way from one mummy to another.
As mum’s we need to turn inwards and face our shadows to assimilate them into our motherhood. It is in working with and acknowledging the shadows that we become aligned with our authentic version of motherhood and are able to shift that mum guilt.
There are two fundamental reasons for mum guilt;
You believe your needs aren’t as important as your babies. That you shouldn’t be putting your needs before your babies.
You are going to hear a great big whoa from me. Let me tell you why. The feminine energy qualities are nurturing, caring, compassion, cooperation and relentlessness. That’s a whole lot of giving that can’t come from an empty vessel.
You feel like you aren’t doing the best for your baby or meeting their needs. This mum guilt comes from the anxiety that you will somehow damage your baby by not being good enough.
You are human right? Learning, unlearning and relearning every day. That right there is you being a good enough mother. You are responding to your baby, adjusting to their ever changing needs and showering them in love whilst teaching them the skills to become them. Read that again; to become them. You do not have a choice in who they choose to become or how they view the world. Your job is to give them the best foundation to make informed decisions and become a thriving member of society. They will learn first by your example.
Are you in the first, second or both mum guilt camps?
Do you want to shift the mum guilt?
The Story of Alice
Let me tell you about a very curious girl called Alice who stretched her limbs in the warm sun and felt the call of adventure. Really she should be staying right under the tree, in the shade and reading her book. That is what she was meant to do. It was a very dull way to gain knowledge and one that didn’t inspire her to learn.
So Alice stood up stretched out her arms and took the first stride into the unknown. An unknown that we all know led to great adventure, a wonderful experience and not only knowledge but wisdom too. All of this happened because she listened to the call for adventure. All of this happened because she took action to go on the adventure. It happened because she listened to her inner self.
If you want to shift the mum guilt you need to listen to your feminine energy and take action.
Superpower Your Feminine Energy
You must make the decision today to look inside yourself for your answers. You as woman are taught to look outside of yourselves for validation and to find answers. When the truth is you have all the answers you need inside yourself. You have feminine intuition and maternal instincts powerful tools that have been trivialised over the time of the masculine energy rule. Reclaim them!
You cannot hide from the shadows of motherhood which you are fearful to acknowledge and share. The wanting to just bloody pee in peace or eat a meal warm and without heartburn at the end is not something to be ashamed of. Wanting to have time to do something for you is not selfish, it is necessary. The feeling of not being good enough or fear of making a wrong decision does not serve you in being the mother you are meant to be. The negative emotions of shame, anger and most of all over expectations do not serve you.
You as the feminine have been chosen to be the creator of life and the portal between the spiritual and the physical. If you want to thrive in business and motherhood embrace your feminine energy and make it work for you. This is where I can help you transform.
Nixie Foster - The Motherhood Mentor a spiritual life-coach to mums in business. The founder of ‘High-Flyer to Authentic Motherhood in 13 Steps’; a mentorship program to shift mum guilt and mum anxieties so you can thrive in business and motherhood.